August 29, 2016

Dear Lover,

I called you crying today because I just miss Guin so much.  Bear and Guin are two very different dogs.  And we know that one day Bear will be amazing.  But today, in that moment, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by the amount of effort required.  I also go back to work in two days, which is overwhelming in itself, and we’re not sure how Bear is going to cope.

You also cried today.  Bear had tried your patience and almost won.  She had bitten your face and was being stubborn and unruly.  It made you miss Guin, but I think really we were missing the effortlessness of Guin.  I reminded you that you didn’t think Guin was perfect when you first met her, and that she had also done things to test your patience (remember when she walked herself home in the middle of the night when you took her out for a walk after coming home from Edan’s house?  You were SO mad at her!).

Bear is sweet and smart, but also challenging.  She brings with her a whole new set of worries and concerns and pressures, but I now that together we can manage this.  Some people say a new puppy is more work than a new baby, and my goodness I hope that’s true.

xo

 

August 21, 2016

Dear Lover,

Today we welcomed Bear into our family.  We met her yesterday, and went back to pick her up today.  You were so sweet and excited this morning, going out to buy her a bed and puppy food and a few toys so she would feel at home.

This is going to be a crazy ride, but I’m glad we’re doing it together.

xo

July 11, 2016

Dear Lover,

We had to say goodbye to our sweet little Guin on July 11.  We came back from visiting my family in Halifax and she was limping.  Within days she was only walking on three of her dear little feet.  We took her to the vet and they diagnosed her with bone cancer.

I told her she needed to hold on until the end of the school year, when I could be with her all day.  And she did.  I took her to the park.  We relaxed on the blanket and I fed her hot dog chunks and cheese.  She smelled the air and looked like she was smiling.  She spent an extra three weeks with us that neither of us expected we’d get.  And I’m so thankful for that time.

In her last week she started slowing down and moving less.  When she started panting we knew it was time.  Her vision was starting to go for periods of time, and she seemed scared.  We knew she’d tell us when it was time, and she did.  My heart broke.  So did yours.

The three of us went in the car for one last trip together.  The vet couldn’t have been nicer and treated her (and us) with a lot of love.

She was calm and her little head was in my lap.  And we were rubbing her and telling her we loved her.  She was brave and helped us be brave for her, and for each other.

And then she fell asleep.

On the very blanket we enjoyed at the park.  With Mr. Pig tucked up beside her.

I miss my friend so much.  And I know you do, too.  I don’t know if I’ll ever not cry when my heart wanders back to memories of dear little Guin.