April 1, 2016

Dear Lover,

We lost the baby on Wednesday night.  The cramping started on Monday and I worried something was wrong.  We had an emergency ultrasound on Tuesday and the woman said we just had our dates wrong.  I wanted to believe her, so I did.  Until Wednesday night when I miscarried our dear little Sweet Pea.

I’m devastated.  You’re trying to keep positive for both of us.

You’ve told me you’re so proud of me.  Of what good care I was taking of myself, and of how brave I’ve been throughout this whole process.

You’ve told me you’re so proud of what we accomplished, even if it was just a little thing it still means so much to us.

You’ve told me that now we know how much we really want this, and how much fun it was for us while it lasted.

You’ve told me that now we know we can do it, so there’s lots to be hopeful for.

My heart feels broken.  So does yours.  We’re both working through waves of sadness, but we’re working through them together.  I know you’ve got my hand in yours, and you’re not going to let me drown.  You’re the anchor that keeps this ship from drifting away.

Each day will get easier.  Each day we’ll cry a little less and be one step closer to the next time.

It was a short little adventure, but we loved it.

xo